Random Thoughts on the Dead Poets Society
by curraheesledgehammernuwanda
Summary: This is basically the monologue running through my mind every time I watch Dead Poets Society.


Random Thoughts on the Dead Poets Society

Disclaimer: Honestly, half of these came from my Icelandic friend after I persuaded her to watch the movie. I don't own DPS but if I did, I'd be a very happy woman. Enjoy! P.S. These are in no particular order.

Why are there bagpipes?

The first time I saw DPS, I was wondering what the point of it was but then it hit me like a bolt of lightning (ha ha, do you see what I did there?). And also come on, there's a guy who calls himself Nuwanda. It can't get much better than that.

My friend: I like that fat guy with the crooked bow tie.

Me: That's Mr. McAllister.

My friend when she first saw Neil: Oh my God! He looks like a painting!

My friend (about Todd): That kid has a bowl haircut.

I hate you, Cameron! I'm gonna chop you up and feed you to the dogs! No, wait I have a better idea. I'll infiltrate a really fancy restaurant and serve you to Mr. Perry.

My friend and I renamed Todd, Cameron, and Knox to Bowl Haircut, Salsa Bowl and Kuh-Nox.

My friend: What the hell is wrong with Kuh-Nox's chin?!

Oh my God, this is the first time I hear Cameron's voice and it annoys the flippin' crap out of me.

When Charlie saunters to Neil's doorway…won't you please walk up to my bedroom door like that, Charlie?

I feel bad for Meeks. He's always being bossed around by Charlie and his smugness.

Excrement is now my word for Cameron, Mr. Perry, Mr. Nolan, Chemistry, and everything else despise.

When Charlie sits on Neil's bed with his smoke…ugh.

Charlie's smirk at Todd is so hysterical, I burst out laughing. So is Meeks's facial expression when hears Todd's older brother was valedictorian.

Why did Neil's voice crack when his father walked in?

As if the parents wouldn't notice the smell of cigarette smoke.

Charlie's face when hearing his chemistry assignment is due tomorrow is me in every class.

Dr. Hager annoys the crap out of me but he also cracks me up because of how grumpy he is towards the students.

My friend: Oh my God, they're learning like 1st year Latin. Wow.

Again, why are there bagpipes?

I love Charlie's smirk.

Mr. Keating thinks J. Evans Pritchard is excrement. So do I.

Cameron is so OCD, using a ruler as a straight edge to rip paper…wow.

My friend when Cameron is using his ruler to rip out paper: I don't know if I should love him or hate him.

Me: Hate him! Definitely hate him!

It took me about 15 times to watch the page-ripping scene before I realized Charlie was drawing a pair of breasts. This is sad. I have no life.

Thank you Jesus for making Mr. McAllister interrupt Mr. Keating's class while they're ripping out paper because then I get to see Charlie swallow a whole wad of paper. AND THAT SMIRK!

Why am I not surprised that Charlie spitting out paper into a trash can is seductive?

I love your glasses, Neil.

Is that a guy eating popcorn in Keating's class while Neil is reading?

Why is Spaz always blowing his nose?!

My friend during the Carpe Diem scene: Does Pitts have a bald spot on the middle of his head?

I'm convinced Charlie's eyebrow raises are seduction tactics. And I will admit that it's working!

I have a new uncle. His name is Walt.

My friend: Come on, Kuh-Nox, she's not _that_ pretty.

Charlie's face when Cameron is trying to tutor him and Neil is freakin' hysterical!

My new favorite word: How-Gale-Hansen-pronounces-the-word-potent.

Meeks + a beanie = Perfection.

Meeks and Pitts were such genius badasses. They probably ended up working for NASA and helped Neil Armstrong land on the moon.

I love Robin William's handwriting.

I'm pretty convinced this is how the phrase "Gingers have no souls" originated.

I feel so bad for Todd when everyone laughs at his "sweaty tooth madman blanket doesn't cover your feet" poem. You are amazing. Don't you forget it, Todd!

We're not laughing at your general worthlessness, Cameron. We're laughing near it.

The only things better than Charlie Dalton is Charlie Dalton naked. On my bed. Beneath the sheets. On top of me. Right now.

Oh my God, I'm squeeing. There's Charlie in the bathroom doing his hair with his amazing God-worthy chiseled chest showing and, Damn you, director of photography! Stupid ass Cameron, I don't want to see you without any clothes on! Go back to Charlie-ugh, stop hogging the camera, Knox!

"To indeed be a god!" Perhaps the god of making me swoon, Mr. Dalton?

Meeks waving a radio in the air is really cute.

Whenever I have anything technological that I shouldn't have, I always say it's for a science experiment.

Did anyone else notice Kuh-Nox shoving that little kid to the side when he's running up the stairs? That kid's face didn't even change! He just looked at the camera and almost smiled!

Charlie, stop rolling your sleeves up. Your arms are distracting me from your beautiful face.

That 2 second interval of seeing Charlie's luscious legs while rowing a boat before they zoom in on CAMERON!

Charlie would choke the bone of life.

When they film Charlie's butt sticking out as he's "assuming the position", I have to keep telling myself that this is _**not**_ a really screwed up version of Fifty Shades of Grey.

Don't ask me why, but right before MR. Nolan paddles him, Charlie's eyes look so beautiful. They're a blue-grey and I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT!

My friend: Who is that?!

Me: Who?

My friend: That blonde Harry Potter!

(Pauses the movie at the courtyard scene)

Me: Holy crap, you're right!

Charlie, my articles of clothing are slowly falling off as this move continues to play.

Mr. Keating has an obsession with picking on his students.

The question remains: Is Todd a man or an amoeba?

Mr. Keating should just adopt Neil.

My friend: Oh God, take me now, Neil! I need you tonight!

Charles Dalton, I am so ready you have no idea.

My friend: Chris is bipolar. On minute Knox is infuriating and the next she's telling him to come hither.

My friend (about Neil): Oh my God, look at those cheek bones. He looks so Icelandic! Oh my God, look at that smirk as he tells Todd that "No" he will bot butt out of his business. Can I have him?

My friend: Since Neil looks Icelandic, Charlie must be too. No, wait his hair is too dark. He must be Danish.

Me: Hehehe, Danish Nuwanda.

Being chased by Walt Whitman is probably the best feeling in the world. No, wait. There's a better one: Charlie Dalton chasing you while playing the bongos.

Yes, Charlie, Meeks knows you're a dead poet. No come help me repopulate the world.

I still can't tell if Charlie is wearing his cream colored sweater on backwards or not because it looks like there is a tag indentation by his collar bone.

My friend: Oh my God, I want to see Neil cry so I can comfort him.

I've always wanted to know what poem Nuwanda read in front of the class.

The phrase, "No shit, Sherlock," was created by Charles Dalton.

That tie looks sexy on Charlie. But it would look better on the floor. The same goes for the rest of your clothes.

When Knox is biking through that flock of birds to see Chris: Is that a small stain on the seat of his pants?

My friend: Did you see that guy who was dancing on top of the bus? I want to do that! Wait, why does he have his sweater over his shoulders? Is Kuh-Nox going to golf? Is he trying to prove to his girlfriend that he likes golfing? Is that his girlfriend? Ugh, never trust cheerleaders.

Charlie, even if you weren't a Dead Poet, women would still swoon. Well, I would anyways.

Red lightning bolts, saxophones, and navy blue berets, oh my!

My friend when Charlie is playing the sax: Dude, that is so easy. He's playing like 5 notes. I could do better than him!

Me: SHUT UP! I DON'T CARE!

I will never look at saxophones the same way. Or berets. Or caves. Or anything.

It might just be my hallucinogenic mind, but when Charlie is playing the saxophone, was I the only one who seemed to think that his pants were a little bit tight?

Charlie in a blue button down with the collar untucked, ugh.

Pitts hitting his head against the cave is priceless.

Gloria's voice is annoying.

Using lipstick to draw on your cheeks is uber sexy.

I honestly don't know what to say about Nuwanda. Stop being so cute, Charlie, I mean Nuwanda. Is that what you want me to call you in bed?

Oh, Charlie and your phone. I agree. They should have me at Hellton.

(During Nuwanda's phone call from God): Mr. Nolan's face is priceless! And so are all the Dead Poets' too!

When Charlie yells, "Gotta do more, gotta be more!" I think I actually shivered.

I blame Charlie for the sudden increase in temperature.

Todd looks cute in a suit-HOLY SHIT I JUST PEED MY PANTS! CHARLIE DALTON, THAT LIGHTNING BOLT ON YOUR CHEST AND THAT SMRIK ON YOUR FACE AND THE WAY THAT PIECE OF HAIR IS DANGLING IN FRONT YOUR EYES! STOP TEASING ME! IF YOU DON'T CLIMB ON TOP OF ME RIGHT NOW, I- * collapses onto the floor and convulses for 2 hours while yelling for Charlie Dalton to please unbutton his trousers*

When I recover from fangirling over Charlie: OH MY GOD NEIL IS DEAD! THIS MOVIE IS TOO MUCH! FIRST MY OVARIES EXPLODE AND NOW I'M BAWLING?!

I hate the world.

Okay, it's one thing for Neil to die but for Charlie to cry over it?! Ugh my life is over. My heart just cracked.

Excuse me, let me just go sob over this for the rest of my life.

I'm retiring from existence.

The virility oozing from Charlie when he punches Cameron is just-gah-Best. Catharsis. Ever.

Todd, don't you dare sign that paper!

No, don't go, Captain!

Yay for Todd! He actually did change. But that last shot is kind of awkward. I mean, come one, he's standing between a guy's legs.

You know, there should a sequel where all of the Dead Poets meet up and plot to kill Cameron and Mr. Perry.

SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS WITH THE BAGPIPES?!

I hope y'all enjoyed it and reviews are appreciated. I realize that half of this is me obsessing over Nuwanda but come on, how can you not?


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